My TTC Journey
Like most of us, my TTC journey started out so exciting, so full of anticipation and hope. I suppose I'd expected it to happen instantly and I had no idea that my longing for a child would become so overwhelming and consuming. That every month would start to feel like a year. Punctuated by stress, anxiety, disappointment and fear.
I started to lose myself and couldn't recognise some of my feelings and behaviour as mine:
Who was this person obsessing over temperature charts and the fertility boosting properties of pineapple juice?
And how could it be that even seeing pregnant women or newborns made me want to cry?
When did sex stop being fun and romantic?
If this sounds familiar, the Mindful TTC course is for you!
Although I 'only' tried for 8 months before I conceived my first child, it felt like much longer. My cycles went crazy and I was diagnosed with very low progesterone, and put on progesterone supplements. I felt very much like I was failing as women.
Well-intended advice from friends ranged from 'don't think about it. What will be will be' to 'think positively! Will it to happen!'
The conflicting advice not only confused me but made me a failure twice over. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother when I couldn't even control my own mind! I certainly couldn't stop thinking about it and I obviously wasn't positive enough because I STILL wasn't pregnant!
No one said to me 'hey Jenny, these feelings are HARD. Let's explore them with kindness and curiosity'.
No one told me that our minds do crazy stuff and it's OK because I am not my thoughts.
And no one said, 'You're not alone, all women wanting a baby feel like this at times, give yourself some patience and love'.
So that's why I made the Mindful TTC course, I want to be that support for you.